SHOCKING NEWS: I was at Target Sunday night. You know how it starts, you suddenly get a craving for Nestle Drumstick cones that can't be stopped, and even though the grocery store halfway between you and Target has them, the Red Eye draws you in. (Moths actually use the phrase "like a human to a Target".)
This is the story of how I got a $21 book, two boxes of cereal (the good kind, not the cheap cardboard flakes) and my cones for just $13!
I was on my couch trying to decide if I was lazy, or did I really need those cones. There's a 5% off deal for them on Cartwheel, so I thought, "Eh, I haven't taken my bra off yet for the night, so I might as well go." *Note: Had my bra been off already, this trip wouldn't even have been considered.
When I got to Target, the first thing I do is wander over to the book section, because of course. While listening to a child point to everything claiming "This is mine, and this is mine, and this... " and silently wondering if I put a baby up for adoption, I saw that Lea Michele's "Brunette Ambition" was on sale for $12! Usually $21, and it has some life tips/recipes, so I scooped that up right away.
Then I bolted straight for the ice cream freezer, being careful to avoid the Black Hole, also known as the clothing section. And WHAT?! My drumsticks are on sale?? OKAY! Mine!
Now comes the scariest, hardest part of the Target Shopping Experience: Heading to the register. This is when objects COME TO LIFE and yell "Over here! Over here! You need me! I belong with you!" The loudest shouts came from the cereal aisle, and I thought, "I rarely eat cereal, but yes I need you! Oh, what's this? Buy one get one half off? I need TWO!" As I did not grab a basket ("I'm only here for one thing, I don't need a basket!"), I am now dodging carts and small children while balancing two boxes of cereal, a book, and a box of ice cream in my arms.
I finally make my way to the nearest register, and notice that each open lane has a line backing up to the make up section. That's cool, I'm in no hurry. I'll check facebook. So now I'm juggling 3 boxes and a book in ONE arm so I can use my other hand to stalk my friends' updates. But after going through 12 reps of my social media routine - Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, repeat - I noticed the line wasn't moving... at all.
This is where a person's true character comes out. Are you the one waiting patiently and making small talk with others, or are you the one yelling "I bet Walmart has more lanes open!"? (Seriously, someone did that.) After chatting with the woman in front of me with a Gatorade and a really cool-looking braid down her back, I learned that Target's computers were down. Hmm. Still not panicking. I mean what are they doing to do, send all these people away? Target's not that rude! Instead, this is what happened:
An angel came through blessing us all with great fortune! Or a Target employee walked through handing everyone coupons. Same thing. He directed Gatorade Braid and myself to the customer service line and apologized for the wait. So my stuff gets rung up, and ..... with the $21 book being on sale, plus the cereal sale, plus the coupons - I got all those things for just $13! That's just $1 more than the sale price of the book!
It's a Target miracle!!!
And you bet I ripped that box open as soon as I got home.
I'm so glad I still had my bra on.