Dear Men,  

A smile and friendly conversation does NOT mean we want to hook up with you.  

Sincerely, Women 

Of course sometimes it does, and in that case we'll make it obvious.  By sleeping with you.  But when I'm on vacation with my cousin just trying to enjoy a beverage (or a few) by the beach, can you stop assuming I want you all over me?  

I know Ashley and I looked hot.  I mean look at us: 

And we're very nice people after 10 am.  Chatting and laughing is just part of our nature (after 10 am), but it does not at all imply that I want to see you naked.  It also does not give you reason to say this: 

Dude:  Are you hungry? 
Me:     Nope. 
Dude:  Then can I buy you breakfast in the morning? *creepy wink face* 

What was I supposed to do here, get all googly-eyed and say "I must have you now!"??  Of course I say no again, and he gets up and storms out.  

Sorry dude, maybe a mermaid wants to be scaled.

In other news, my cousin and I were here for a week, and I could've stayed forever.  And ever and ever and ever.